High flying like a real high-roller

So I was thinking...

Most people seem to think that the height of extravagant spending is achieved when the wealthy buy their own private jet so that they can fly anywhere they go. Well, if I was gonna be a douchebag high-roller, then I'd have to do better than that.

Whenever I'd have to go anywhere, I'd fly there in my multiple personal jets. So how would I make use of -- say -- 5 jets? Well simple -- I'd have my arms and legs cut off, then fly each of my severed appendages and my torso in different jets. Then I'd have a crack team of top-notch surgeons meet me at my destination, reattach my limbs, and send me on my way to some classy event full of rich and famous-type people... such as the world premiere of "Snakes on a Plane", during which I would chill out with Samuel L. Jackson. It'd be sweet.

PS - Speaking of Samuel L. Jackson, I got a call from him at work today and it scared the Holy Ghost outta me. If you feel the urge, send Samuel L. Jackson in someone else's direction.